3 Nonverbal Gestures that Will Change Your Romantic Relationship Forever
Have you ever considered the mixed messages you send your partner during a conversation? Your nonverbal gestures could be sending a message you didn’t intend. Make these three simple changes and redefine how you communicate in a romantic relationship.
KEEP YOUR HANDS FOLDED IN FRONT OR YOUR ARMS ON YOUR SIDE
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Have you ever been in an argument while keeping your hands folded in front of you? Probably not. If you’re like most people, you become animated when upset: Arms flailing, convulsive head ticks, and a blend of sitting, standing, and fidgeting. Does this reaction typically help the situation? The answer is never yes.
Whether you intend to or not, your reaction probably makes your partner feel defensive (which could filter the message you’re trying to communicate). The biggest threat: Your hands! During your following conversation with your partner, move your arms and watch his eyes follow your hands. He’s worried about your hands and what they’ll do next (something to compromise his safety???)! It’s a protective instinct (like a warrior), and it places him in a defensive mode (even if it’s only unconscious).
Even if your nonverbal gestures aren’t an interpretative dance of the devil, placing your hands on your hips or folding your arms might also reflect discontent, anger, disgust, and boredom. Shame on you if this is your intent, and save the show for the stage. Most likely, you’re doing this unconsciously and don’t realize the effect of your nonverbal gestures.
Perform a check-in during your conversations. Ask yourself: What message are you sending with your physical position or reactions? You can offer your attention without expressing confrontational mannerisms. Try sitting with your hands folded in front of you (shows patience and attentive listening) or standing with your arms on your side (a non-combative stance). Communication in a relationship requires trust and security. Don’t undermine this safe zone and muddle your message with nonverbal gestures you didn’t intend.
FACE YOUR PARTNER WITH YOUR SHOULDERS SQUARED
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Similar to the placement of your hands and arms, your hips could tell a different nonverbal story. When you turn your body away from your partner, you could signal that you’re about to run away (which could be true) or fight her in a martial arts match. Most importantly, you’re not showing your vulnerability with the display of your whole torso (think opening yourself to someone instead of closing yourself off). Make your partner believe that she’s safe during this conversation and that you’re fully interested in what she says. Keep your hips parallel to her hips and square your shoulders upright.
LOOK YOUR PARTNER IN THE EYES WHILE SPEAKING AND LISTENING (ASSUMING YOU LISTEN :) )
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Nothing shows more respect to another human being (and dog) than looking at them in the eyes during a conversation. It’s another sign of attentiveness and respect. Most people find this nonverbal gesture challenging because they feel inferior or intimidated by the other person. I often look away to find a thought (as if I could picture the word I’m grasping for in my mind). Your reason may not be out of disrespect to the other person, either.
Nevertheless, it is the most regarded in any personal or professional setting. Your eye contact says, “I respect you…I’m listening to you,” is an essential nonverbal message when building intimacy in any relationship. Practice and stop overthinking.
Photo Credit:
Alberto Bogo – Is your body conveying a different message to your partner?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: MICHAEL MOODY, PERSONAL TRAINER
As an author, a personal trainer in Denver, and podcast host, Michael Moody has helped personal training clients achieve new fitness heights and incredible weight loss transformations since 2005. He also produces the wellness podcast "The Elements of Being" and has been featured on NBC, WGN Radio, and PBS.
Michael offers personal training to Denver residents who want to meet at the 2460 W 26th Ave studio….or in their homes throughout LoHi (80206), LoDo (80202), RiNo (80216), Washington Park (80209), Cherry Creek (80206, 80209, 80243, 80246, 80231), and Highlands (80202, 80211, 80212). Michael also offers experiences with a personal trainer in Jefferson Park (80211) and Sloan's Lake (80204, 80212).
If you’re looking for a personal trainer who can curate a sustainable (and adaptable) routine based on your needs and wants, Michael is the experienced practitioner you’ve been looking for. Try personal training for a month…your body will thank you!
EPISODE #10 - EAT FOR LIFE, WEIGHT LOSS, AND AN OPTIMAL IMMUNE SYSTEM WITH BEST SELLING AUTHOR DR. FUHRMAN
On “The Elements of Being” podcast, Michael dissects and explores the minds and habits of psychologists, filmmakers, writers, and industry icons. Essentially, you learn what makes them flip the switch to achieve incredible feats, goals, and milestones…and a chance to geek out over the psychology behind human behavior. In this episode, Michael interviews Dr. Joel Fuhrman, an internationally recognized nutrition and natural healing expert and author of seven New York Times bestsellers, including his most recent book, Eat for Life. His other bestsellers include Eat to Live and The End of Dieting (which I give to all my clients).
Read more and listen here…..You can also listen to all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Overcast, Castbox, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast platform!
