5 Essential Tips for Building a Lasting and Healthy Relationship: Minimizing Stress and Maximizing Focus
ABSTRACT
Discover essential strategies for nurturing a healthy, enduring relationship and minimizing stress through the wisdom of "9 Ways to Ensure Your Relationship Is Built to Last." Learn how presence, positive acknowledgment, respect, curiosity, and avoiding the need to be right can transform your romantic relationship and enhance overall well-being.
KEYWORDS
Relationship Building Tips
Minimizing Stress in Relationships
Healthy Relationship Advice
Romantic Relationship Improvement
Enhancing Relationship Focus
Personal Training and Relationships
Lasting Relationship Strategies
Communication in Relationships
Introduction
Stress may be the biggest obstacle to your best health. Surprisingly, the root of change may need to start with your romantic relationship at home. Here are the top tips from the Livestrong article "9 Ways to Ensure Your Relationship Is Built to Last” to minimize your stress at home and maximize your focus in the personal training studio.
The List of Ways to Ensure Your Relationship is Built to Last
1. BE PRESENT
The best way to connect with those you love is by being present -- over and over and over again -- says wellness counselor Anne Parker. “Being present means fully engaging in what is being shared between you in that moment, truly paying attention to the thoughts, feelings, and actions you’re experiencing together.” Keep the television off as the two of you share dinner. Switch off your tablet or smartphone in the evening so you can fully participate with your partner -- listening, sharing, and experiencing the time you spend together. Parker adds that while this may sound obvious and straightforward, think about how often we get distracted from truly paying attention. “Without an engaged presence,” she says, “relationships quickly wither.”
Personal Trainer Wisdom: All relationships benefit from genuine, respectful interactions. To adequately do this, you must be present without a doubt. With the neverending distractions and demands from your professional and personal lives, you should question what you currently offer to your partner. Are you carving out time to interact with him or her? No matter the length of time, are you entirely focused on your partner when you spend time together? I’m admittingly often lured by my phone…we can always justify checking emails for work, right? To minimize this habit, I’ve begun placing my phone to the side as soon as I walk in the door after work and flipping it over (with the sound off). Sammy and I usually hug as soon as we return home, and then we discuss our day before the television is ever turned on (not an emoji hug). Although I’m not perfect, these little efforts add up. With my son Preston joining the family, a refocus couldn’t be more critical. How can you be more present?
2. ACKNOWLEDGE THE POSITIVE
While we might have fallen in love with our partners because of their positive traits and qualities, everyday stresses and anxieties can make it far too easy to focus only on the negative. “Make sure you acknowledge what’s working,” says wellness counselor Anne Parker, “and give credit for the things that go well even amid conflict.” Try to see that for every negative feeling or interaction between the two of you, there are five positive ones. According to relationship researcher and author John Gottman, this five-to-one ratio is typical of stable and happy couples. So instead of focusing on how you wish your partner were different, Parker says, “Stay in touch with what you love about that person.”
Personal Trainer Wisdom: You need to continue to celebrate the best of each other and the love you share. All people (including me : )) love acknowledgment of the beautiful things they do or the incredible energy they share in the world. You can’t say enough. In a lifetime of imperfections, it is up to you to praise the best of what’s in between…especially of what you identify in your partner.
3. NURTURE RESPECT
“Respecting each other means remembering that you are two different people, with different perspectives, histories, and ways of being,” says wellness counselor Anne Parker. In a paper published in 2000 in the American Journal of Psychotherapy concerning romantic love and its barriers, the idea of respect is equated to each person taking their partner seriously as a person. The article theorizes that to love another in the fullest sense, it is vital to understand and appreciate that your partner, like you, is “the conscious center of her world, a fellow maker of choices, an entitled holder of rights, values and life goals and an experiencer of joys and sufferings.” Parker says that honoring those differences is just as important as valuing the similarities. “We all want to be respected for who we are and what makes us unique.”
Personal Trainer Wisdom: This quote is worth repeating: Your partner, like you, is “the conscious center of her world, a fellow maker of choices, an entitled holder of rights, values and life goals and an experiencer of joys and sufferings.” Do you keep this in mind while interacting with your partner? What assumptions do you make about him or her? Are you reacting instead of considering your partner's history and the root of his or her perspective? You are entitled to your opinion.
Regarding your partner, though, you should take the time to learn “why, what, when, who, how, and where” before passing judgment or making an assumption. Respect is best shown through your willingness to build effective communication. Ask the right questions and give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
4. BE CURIOUS
People want to feel that their significant other is interested in them and cares about what is important to them. Cultivate curiosity and interest in your partner. Don’t presume you already know his answers, motives, thoughts, and experiences. Making such a presumption distances you from who your partner truly is, denies him the opportunity for expression, and diminishes intimacy. “Make sure that you regularly create focused time just to talk, ask questions, and share the thoughts and feelings of everyday experiences,” says wellness counselor Anne Parker. Curiosity breeds discovery, she explains, “and ongoing discovery about each other keeps the relationship vital and interesting.”
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Over time, your wisdom has evolved due to your experiences. You most likely have changed in several ways, and it’s not fair to think that your partner has been static for the same time. Be curious. Explore how your partner experiences the world each day…you may be surprised to hear how he or she now interprets a situation or handles a challenge differently a second time. It’s an excellent opportunity to connect at different emotional and mental levels and opens the doors for additional communication and trust.
5. DON’T GET ATTACHED TO BEING RIGHT
When disagreements occur between you and your partner, don’t commit yourself so fully to the idea that you’re the one who’s right that you lose sight of what’s essential. “Getting attached to being right just creates barriers to resolution and productive action,” says wellness counselor Anne Parker. She says most of the time, it doesn’t matter who’s right. “How you connect, listen, discuss, and create the most productive result matters.”
Personal Trainer Wisdom: You should celebrate the best of life together and seek the best and most reasonable solution possible (together) when confronted with a challenge. There is, and never will be, any value in establishing who’s right or wrong…it doesn’t matter if that’s your focus; shame on you. A relationship isn’t a game or a battle. You need to rethink your approach. Even if you’re not at fault, you add fuel to the fire with this attitude. Sorry, drama queens and kings, I'm talking to you.
Photo Credit:
Elizabethnord.com–Does a real change start with your approach to your relationship?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: MICHAEL MOODY, PERSONAL TRAINER
As an author, a personal trainer in Denver, and podcast host, Michael Moody has helped personal training clients achieve new fitness heights and incredible weight loss transformations since 2005. He also produces the wellness podcast "The Elements of Being" and has been featured on NBC, WGN Radio, and PBS.
Michael offers personal training to Denver residents who want to meet at the 2460 W 26th Ave studio….or in their homes throughout LoHi (80206), LoDo (80202), RiNo (80216), Washington Park (80209), Cherry Creek (80206, 80209, 80243, 80246, 80231), and Highlands (80202, 80211, 80212). Michael also offers experiences with a personal trainer in Jefferson Park (80211) and Sloan's Lake (80204, 80212).
If you’re looking for a personal trainer who can curate a sustainable (and adaptable) routine based on your needs and wants, Michael is the experienced practitioner you’ve been looking for. Try personal training for a month…your body will thank you!
EPISODE #10 - EAT FOR LIFE, WEIGHT LOSS, AND AN OPTIMAL IMMUNE SYSTEM WITH BEST SELLING AUTHOR DR. FUHRMAN
On “The Elements of Being” podcast, Michael dissects and explores the minds and habits of psychologists, filmmakers, writers, and industry icons. Essentially, you learn what makes them flip the switch to achieve incredible feats, goals, and milestones…and a chance to geek out over the psychology behind human behavior. In this episode, Michael interviews Dr. Joel Fuhrman, an internationally recognized nutrition and natural healing expert and author of seven New York Times bestsellers, including his most recent book, Eat for Life. His other bestsellers include Eat to Live and The End of Dieting (which I give to all my clients).
Read more and listen here…..You can also listen to all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Overcast, Castbox, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast platform!
